SAoVQ Creepy

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　　＿＿__＿∧∧　　 ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
～'　＿＿__（　ﾟДﾟ）＜　　GAY SWEDNIC LEAF MONGOLOID TRANSSEXUAL /POLACK META/ ARCHIVES！！
　 ＵU 　 　Ｕ U　　　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　＿＿__＿∧∧　　 ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
～'　＿＿__（　ﾟДﾟ）＜　　GAY SWEDNIC LEAF MONGOLOID TRANSSEXUAL /POLACK META/ ARCHIVES！！
　 ＵU 　 　Ｕ U　　　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿
　　＿＿__＿∧∧　　 ／￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣
～'　＿＿__（　ﾟДﾟ）＜　　GAY SWEDNIC LEAF MONGOLOID TRANSSEXUAL /POLACK META/ ARCHIVES！！
　 ＵU 　 　Ｕ U　　　 ＼＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿＿

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GUINEA PIGS
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WHEEK

a python made of rubies

Los Chupacabras

GUINEA PIGS

Sweet TOaDAS

Boy this really brings backs some memories. I was 12 at the time and my friend told me he had found this site called Beenz that we could use to earn points and buy stuff. There was a game that was basically a clone of Asteroids that would pay out Beenz based on how many points you scored. We were avid gamers and wannabe hackers (more like script kiddies) so we were aware of a tool like game hacker or something that would allow us to find the memory address of a given value in a game and change it to whatever value we desired. This Asteroids clone calculated the points in the browser and submitted the value when you died, so we could easily find the value and change it to 100,000,000 or something ludicrous. It worked. We were rolling in Beenz. I bought a Gameboy and some games, tons of Pokemon trading cards, and several Wal-mart gift certificates. In the end I wound up with well over $500 worth of free stuff. Doesn't seem like a big haul now, but to a fairly poor 12 year old middle school kid, we were living like kings.

The game was eventually shut down and one day I received an email from some guy. He said he wasn't angry but wanted to know how I was able to exploit the game and get so many points, and maybe one day we could laugh about it over a beer. I just sent him a reply saying "I'm 12, lol."

Wow.... spooky :^_|

beans make me poop

mmm yummy

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It was clear that dwelling in this state of shock was going to be of no use. As if his mouth wished to mimick this thought, Taylor uttered, "I've got to get going. Maybe I can get out of here -- maybe I can find an outpost something, someone." Over and over he told himself this, as though hearing a human voice could be enough to open a floodgate of relief over his stricken heart. With fear so tangible, he could hardly rouse himself to action. This trepidation was manifest in the environment that seemed so hostile, so inhuman...the screams were inhuman, the scent inhuman, even the very sight of this place was inhuman. As his vision cleared, he began picking up minute details, as he stood upon shaking, weary legs.

The crimson outcrops, plateaus, mountains, the lances of fiery marble that jutted out all around him were bleeding.

His mind was transfixed, his brain itself mesmerized by the ungodly marriage of flesh and stone. In the cracks and crags of the truculent stone, blood bubbled forth, a tenebrous hue of blackish-red spurting forth as if emerging from an arterial wound. To his left, about ten feet away, he heard an odd noise of moist flesh...As he stepped to the place of the emergent sound, the picture became clearer and he saw viscid, fetid-smelling intestines...bowels...emerging from a cleft in the vast promontory.

All of this, this abhorrent sight and swell that consumed his senses grasped him and flung Taylor into the throes of illness yet again. Collapsing to his knees, he dry-heaved over and over, but his stomach would not yield. His mind, his body rejected this vile place and it's impure nature. However, when he had regained control of his legs, this episode had proven enough to rouse him to move, to leave.

Taylor's feet shuffled slowly, kicking up plumes of flesh-colored dust and small rocks, which remained suspended in the air longer than they should of, obeying laws of physics unlike any on earth. Hypnotized by the simple back-and-forth motion of one foot following the other, his eyes glazed over and his mind drifted away from the present, recalling that moment which seemed so long ago, the first time he was driven to the unspeakable act...driven, he was sure, only by the contents of the hypodermic needle he felt was entirely necessary to use at the time.

He shook his head violently, almost as if by doing so, he could free himself of the memories. Before his mind had entirely shifted back, his attention was seized by an unusual gurgling noise, a sound reminiscent of thick fluids bubbling through a small crevice. Taylor staggered cautiously toward the origin of the sound -- it appeared to be coming from an area around the jagged, blood colored crag to his left.

His vision, disrupted by the red dust blowing in the hot, stifling zephyrs of Hell, he could only perceive what appeared to be a massive sac of flesh. As he drew closer, the vague image transformed into something far more horrific than anything he had seen yet. More horrific than the mutilated corpses back at the base, more gruesome than the stinking bodies of the demons, perforated with bullet holes. More loathsome than...than that incident, that encounter he had what seemed to be days ago...

The sound persisted, as thick in the atmosphere around him as the crise of the suffering and damned souls flitting around him. Taylor raised his forearm to wipe the debris from his eyes. His vision was clear.

It was covered in stitch marks where a myriad of pieces of flesh were sewn together, like a grotesque living patchwork quilt. The frame of the deplorable creature was swathed in thick rolls of blubber. Its skin was similar to a human being's except it was covered in chancres and pustules which looked ready to burst. Some patches of flesh were scaly and rough, hanging off in shingles, while in others it shined with a preternatural gloss where it was extraordinarily oily. Its left and right arms were only arms to the elbow, where immense metal gun barrels were fused to the flesh. Tubes ran from the metal constructs to somewhere behind its back, which Taylor was unable to see.

Mounted atop this pathetic creature was a strikingly minute head. Within it glowed two pale green orbs for eyes, which looked not unlike stagnating pools of grease. The small, human-sized mouth was wide open and agog at times, then closing, like a fish stranded on land.

Perhaps even more overpowering than its appearance, Taylor noted, was the smell which issued forth from it. The folds and flaps of fat concealed rotting flesh, consumed by what apeared to be gangrene of some sort. It appeared that this...thing had been in this spot for some time. Because of its inability to move, the creature sat upon its own waste, which had seeped out from underneath it, as it lay prostrate. Glancing down, he noticed that its left leg, stump like and similar to an elephant's, was broken. Whatever it was, it's on the verge of death, Taylor thought.

When he drew closer to the demon, which he concluded it was, the helpless creature attempted to move, but could not and only succeeded in wedging itself further into a crevice behind it. Its mouth kept opening and closing, and finally it got enough strength to make a deep bellow which ended in a strange, pathetic moan that sounded like it had come from a human being.

What a sick joke, Taylor thought. This thing is a part of the army that wiped out my friends, family...my whole life. And it has the courage to make the sound of a person? He remembered the last moments he had with his wife before the evacuation of the base. He loved her, he had wanted to tell her that he did, but there was no chance. He thought that he would have had the chance when the met back on earth.

But she wasn't there.

Rage bubbled inside of Taylor. It seeped into his miserable, grief-stricken heart and manifested itself into a nearly palpable viscous entity, thick and unstoppable and consuming. He looked back at the creature, which, for all its fear, gazed back at him defiantly. All of his impotent rage focused itself on the thing in front of him.

Taylor snapped.

He dropped his chaingun and hefted the backpack, laden with ammunitions, off of himself. His battle fatigue washed away and with a renewed vigor, leapt at the fear-stricken mound of flesh in front of him. It couldn't fight back...it was exhausted and starving...it couldn't get Taylor off.

"Kill her? You'll fucking pay! Since you took her away, you piece of shit, you can take her place!" Taylor shouted as quickly tore off his fatigues but didn't even bother to remove his shirt.

He didn't care.

He didn't mind the smell or the look or the feel of this thing. He was going to show the creature that it meant nothing and it was nothing. Taylor's hands searched through the seemingly-endless waves of fat to find an entrance of some sort...something to assert his power through. After several moments, he found what he was looking for. The creature's face, not intended to express emotion, was twisted in a sickening grimace of terror. Its cries fell on deaf ears.

Taylor grabbed his chaingun which was only several feet away and used it to prop up the folds of flesh so he could reach the demon's hole without distraction or worry of tiring. He placed the chaingun barrel upward and after having done so, wasted no time feeding himself into the foul cavity. He summoned all of his strength into the singular goal of destroying this creature. Every thrust was a victory, every cry coming from the monster was music to his ears.

His hands clutched the monster, finding easy grasping holds on the rolls of fat. Taylor's teeth were clenched and griding, he thrust as hard as he could over and over. His stamina seemed endless. Mid-thrust, the demon struggled to toss him off, but Taylor, blazing with anger, freed his right and and picked up a nearby stone and hit the creature several times with it. The demon fell unconscious, its tiny head slumped over with its tongue hanging out, lolling.

After several more minutes, Taylor had finished, and made one final parting thrust. Blood crept out from the torn, abused cleft.

He put his uniform back on and walked quietly over to the beast, his chaingun still upright under its flabby recesses.

"I hate you. I hate you for what you did, and I hate you for what you made me do," Taylor seethed, as if he were talking to the whole demon horde in unison.

With the gun still propped up under the creature, he pulled the trigger. The muffled gunshots rippled the sheets of fat, shot after shot after shot...the smell of singed flesh mingled with carbonite and the creature cried out one final time before falling limp. Its intestines cascaded around it through the gaping hole in its abdomen, wreathing the monster in a grotesque garland.

Taylor picked up his chaingun and looked at the monster. One last paroxysm of animosity washed through him as he crushed in the demon's skull with the butt of the gun. Looking down at the mass of mashed brains and skull fragments, he spit on the creature in parting, picked up his backpack and staggered off, consumed in the red haze.

Happy 11th Birthday, Doom!

I poop

ドイツを初めとするヨーロッパ各国で「国境封鎖」と言っているが、ヨーロッパは、
どこの国も、アメリカ・メキシコ国境のように高い塀やフェンスがあるわけでもなく、
ヨーロッパ各国は、どこの国も、EU加盟とシェンゲン協定により、全く国境なんて
何もない一つの国のようなもので、どこからどこがどこの国であるかすら、そもそも
不明なくらい一体化しているから、国境封鎖なんて、そもそも１００％無理（冷笑）。

今は、イタリアやスペインでコロナウイルスが深刻だが、非常に近い将来、「ほんものの地獄」
を見るのは、フランクフルトなどの大都市を初めとして、（安い単純労働者を確保する腹黒い
目的で）、おびただしい数の難民（＝乞食、浮浪者、ホームレス）を自国に既に引き入れてしま
っているドイツであるのは、火を見るよりも明らか（冷笑）。

ドイツのフランクフルトが「難民」という名の「乞食（こじき）」と「浮浪者」「ホームレス」で
溢れかえっている、この世の世紀末の「地獄絵巻き」のような都市であるのは、言うまで
もないが、ドイツの場合、ドイツ全土の全ての各都市が均等に、「難民」を受け入れるよう
強制的に要請されているから、既にドイツ全土で、（アラブ諸国から来た難民だけではなく、
貧乏な東ヨーロッパ諸国から来た「準難民」を含めれば）、１千万人単位の「難民」という名の
乞食、浮浪者、ホームレスがありとあらゆる道路や公園などに溢れかえっているから、
それらの全路上生活者が一人もコロナウイルス感染者になってコロナウイルスを撒き散らさ
ないよう、全難民をどこかの施設に入れるかしない限り、ドイツにおけるコロナウイルスは、
間違いなく、世界最悪の本物の「地獄絵巻」になるのは、当然の流れ（冷笑）。

これから間もなく、イタリアやスペイン、アメリカを百万倍はるかに上回る「本物の地獄劇場」
が「世紀末の乞食の溢れる世界一汚らしい都市」であるフランクフルトを初めとする吐き気を
もよおすほど汚らしいドイツの各都市で見られるので、乞うご期待！

I'm addicted to Gak

me too

same

You don't know what it's like.

You see Spider man as some sort of hero. But I know what he's truly like. He burned into my soul, what he was really all about. He is a sick, menacing monster, that only a few unfortunate people like me have to know about.

Some hero.

He was sadistic in his pursuit.

Me, enveloped his spider web, was the scariest thing ever. Both of my legs tied, while I listened to him purr.

He touched me with his cold, cold fingers. It made me lose all of the color in my face. I felt so stupid. I walked there on my own free will, but I was never expecting this. He was Spider man, and Spider man was my hero. It never even occurred to me that he would do that.

But now that he has, a piece of me, no..all of me has died.

He held me back, no matter how hard I begged. Nor how hard I struggled, he wouldn't stop.

He ripped through me, tearing everything else in the process. I feel hatred running through me, as the fire runs through the forest. My hands restricted, my chest bleeding from the attempt of escape.

Spider man is evil.

Spider man raped me.

hyper realistic spider man

what brand of soap does Spider Man recommend?

>>4
I have always belived Spider man to be a Dove kind of guy.

dicks out for Spider Man

Spider Dick
Spider Dick
I got fucked by Spider Dick

The parts of the spectrums of each thing that have the opposite reaction to the parts of the spectrums which cause aging,retards,sickness,etc,etc,and there's the other parts in the middle(example-the berry spectrum has healthy berries and poisonous berries and the other berries in the middle).The elements.Recreating various outside crisis situations(hungry,thirsty,stuck,etc,etc) or not results in invisibility and speed,omnipotence,superpeople,youngness,altering you and reality,personally affecting reality,your mind returning to the past(time travel).People who are acidic,nervous,shitty and others are being assalted,bleeding and puking acid.Personally affecting reality example-eating salt and then being assalted.The soaps are killing people,the nerve and skin damage and where's the sweat and tan,feeling hot,dizzy,throbbing,burning and sick?The soaps are turning peoples faces into monster scar faces.Peoples bodies are being damaged and aged by the shampoo,hot tubs,swimming pools,soap,stress,working,gravity,infections,viruses,loud sounds,rubs,creams,pills,people,food,beverages,etc,etc.Air bubbles and dissolved air in fluids in IV bags,tubes and syringes is being injected into people,strokes and deaths.Sniffing deaths.Operating table and bed murders and people being numbed by the dentist.People are being euthanized in hospitals and hospices.They're pulling and grabbing peoples sleeping genitals,turning peoples places into a hotel/outhouse and anally attacking colon cleansed people .Surrounded by the future,the past and nightlights,barking dogs,abductions,disappearances,suicides,murders,cuts,suffocations,draining energy or absorbing energy.Being pulled towards the future or the past with your iron coins and other materials your in contact with and surrounded by,people are disappearing,people are being replaced with clones,robots,etc,people travelling back in time are being attacked and getting into accidents.People are travelling to the future and to the past.People are sending messages to the future and to the past.Aliens,people are visiting and sometimes leaving this world,which worlds and times are they from?They're stealing peoples DNA,cloning,growing,making and using the clones.The souls of the dead and others are travelling into other peoples bodies to be young and healthy.Connected minds communicating.Some people know other peoples thoughts and are communicating telepathically,interuptions,influencing,scolding,interference,torturing and controlling peoples minds and bodies and murdering and bothering other people listen to the sounds similar to the heat bug and electronic sounds.Body twitching.People are communicating with other people through nightmares.People are using other people to say their thoughts.Your suspicious,nature's etc examples,stuck in this nest.They're waking people up again and again and they're causing other sleeping problems and deaths,picking,poking,prodding,digging people with medical instruments.The TV creeps and others are accusing people of being criminals and others in a past life,threatening,hynotising,insulting and bothering people about what they are doing,saying and their thoughts,maybe they'll reach through the screen and your reality show from this world,concluding the experiments and cleaning the cages.

The parts of the spectrums of each thing that have the opposite reaction to the parts of the spectrums which cause aging,retards,sickness,etc,etc,and there's the other parts in the middle(example-the berry spectrum has healthy berries and poisonous berries and the other berries in the middle).The elements.Recreating various outside crisis situations(hungry,thirsty,stuck,etc,etc) or not results in invisibility and speed,omnipotence,superpeople,youngness,altering you and reality,personally affecting reality,your mind returning to the past(time travel).People who are acidic,nervous,shitty and others are being assalted,bleeding and puking acid.Personally affecting reality example-eating salt and then being assalted.The soaps are killing people,the nerve and skin damage and where's the sweat and tan,feeling hot,dizzy,throbbing,burning and sick?The soaps are turning peoples faces into monster scar faces.Peoples bodies are being damaged and aged by the shampoo,hot tubs,swimming pools,soap,stress,working,gravity,infections,viruses,loud sounds,rubs,creams,pills,people,food,beverages,etc,etc.Air bubbles and dissolved air in fluids in IV bags,tubes and syringes is being injected into people,strokes and deaths.Sniffing deaths.Operating table and bed murders and people being numbed by the dentist.People are being euthanized in hospitals and hospices.They're pulling and grabbing peoples sleeping genitals,turning peoples places into a hotel/outhouse and anally attacking colon cleansed people .Surrounded by the future,the past and nightlights,barking dogs,abductions,disappearances,suicides,murders,cuts,suffocations,draining energy or absorbing energy.Being pulled towards the future or the past with your iron coins and other materials your in contact with and surrounded by,people are disappearing,people are being replaced with clones,robots,etc,people travelling back in time are being attacked,getting into accidents or sending messages.People are travelling to the future and to the past.Aliens,people are visiting and sometimes leaving this world,which worlds and times are they from?They're stealing peoples DNA,cloning,growing,making and using the clones.The souls of the dead and others are travelling into other peoples bodies to be young and healthy.Connected minds communicating.Some people know other peoples thoughts and are communicating telepathically,interuptions,influencing,scolding,interference,torturing and controlling peoples minds and bodies and murdering and bothering other people listen to the sounds similar to the heat bug and electronic sounds.Body twitching.People are communicating with other people through nightmares.People are using other people to say their thoughts.Your suspicious,nature's etc examples,stuck in this nest.They're waking people up again and again and they're causing other sleeping problems and deaths,picking,poking,prodding,digging people with medical instruments.The TV creeps and others are accusing people of being criminals and others in a past life,threatening,hynotising,insulting and bothering people about what they are doing,saying and their thoughts,maybe they'll reach through the screen and your reality show from this world,concluding the experiments and cleaning the cages.

People aren't sweating or barely sweating and the causes are the soaps,creams,rubs,swimming pools,hot tubs,etc,etc.The nerve and skin damage.Feeling hot,burning,throbbing,puffy,dizzy and sick?The dry flaky skin.Rigid skin.Stuck with fingernail indentations.People aren't tanning.Monster scar faces.The damage to our bodies is causing aging.People are dying and suicides.The deaths of millions.Blinding headaches,Brain aneurysms and brain damage.People are being balded by the shampoo.People are being infected by the food and beverages and the poop and infection is stuck in the digestive tract and people smell snake venom.Air bubbles and dissolved air in fluids in IV bags,tubes and syringes is being injected into people causing strokes and deaths.People are being euthanized at hospitals and hospices.Hospital devices radiation damage.Operating table and bed murders and people being numbed by the dentist.Loud music in the cars backseat,etc,etc and eardrops are causing deafness.People are being poisoned,burned,infected,plugged,numbed,brain tumors,aneurysms,impotence,blinded,damaged,aged,crippled and balded by the shampoo,pills,gravity,working,stress,soaps,creams,rubs,people,viruses,mouthwash,nasal cleaners,eyedrops,eardrops,loud sounds,beverages and food.Sniffing deaths.Pins,etc,etc in the food and beverages.

What brand of soap does Freddy Krueger recommend?

No mittens!

industrial strength soap

Supaidaman

King K. Rool

undead gorilla penis

disgusting vaginae

People aren't sweating or barely sweating and the causes are the soaps,creams,rubs,swimming pools,hot tubs,etc,etc.The nerve and skin damage.Feeling hot,burning,throbbing,puffy,dizzy and sick?The dry flaky skin.People aren't tanning.Monster scar faces.People are dying and suicides.The deaths of millions.Blinding headaches,Brain aneurysms and brain damage.People are being balded by the shampoo.Air bubbles and dissolved air in fluids in IV bags,tubes and syringes is being injected into people causing strokes and deaths.People are being euthanized at hospitals and hospices.Hospital devices radiation damage.Operating table and bed murders and people being numbed by the dentist.Loud music in the cars backseat,etc,etc and eardrops are causing deafness.People are being poisoned,burned,infected,plugged,numbed,brain tumors,aneurysms,impotence,blinded,damaged,aged,crippled and balded by the shampoo,pills,gravity,working,stress,soaps,creams,rubs,people,mouthwash,nasal cleaners,eyedrops,eardrops,loud sounds,beverages and food.Sniffing deaths.Pins,etc,etc in the food and beverages.

What brand of soap does Freddy Krueger recommend?

NIGGER NIGG

dicks out for Harambe

Chiggers

The things in the spectrums of each thing that have the opposite reaction of the things in the spectums that cause aging,retards,sickness,etc,etc,and there's the others in the middle(in the berry spectrum their are healthy berries and poisonous berries and the other berries in the middle).The elements.Recreating various outside crisis situations(hungry,thirsty,stuck,etc,etc) or not results in invisibility and speed,omnipotence,youngness,altering you and reality,personally affecting reality,your mind returning to the past(time travel).People who are acidic,nervous,shitty and others are being assalted,bleeding and puking acid.The soaps are killing people,the nerve and skin damage and where's the sweat and tan,feeling hot,dizzy,throbbing,burning and sick?The soaps are turning peoples faces into monster scar faces.Peoples bodies are being damaged and aged by the shampoo,soap,stress,working,gravity,infections,viruses,rubs,creams,pills,people,food,beverages,etc,etc.Air bubbles and dissolved air in IV bags,tubes,syringes is being injected into people,strokes and deaths.Operating table and bed murders and people being numbed by the dentist.People are being euthanized in hospitals and hospices.They're hungrily pulling and grabbing peoples sleeping genitals,thirstily turning peoples places into a hotel/outhouse and anally attacking colon cleansed people .Surrounded by the future,the past and nightlights,barking dogs,abductions,disappearances,suicides,murders,cuts,suffocations,draining energy.Being pulled towards the future or the past along with your iron coins and other materials your in contact with and surrounded by,people are disappearing,people are being replaced with clones,robots,etc,people travelling back in time are being attacked,getting into accidents or sending messages.People are travelling to the future and to the past.Aliens,people are visiting and sometimes leaving this world,which worlds and times are they from?They're stealing peoples DNA,cloning,growing,making and using the clones.The souls of the dead and others are travelling into other peoples bodies to be young and healthy.Connected minds communicating.Some people know other peoples thoughts and are communicating telepathically,interuptions,influencing,scolding,interference,torturing and controlling peoples minds and bodies and murdering and bothering other people listen to the sounds similar to the heat bug and electronic sounds.Body twitching.People are communicating with other people through nightmares.People are using other people to say their thoughts.Your superstitious,nature's,etc examples,stuck in this nest.They're waking people up again and again and they're causing other sleeping problems and deaths,picking,poking,prodding,digging people with medical instruments.The TV creeps and others are accusing people of being criminals and others in a past life,threatening,hynotising,insulting and bothering people about what they are doing,saying and their thoughts,maybe they'll reach through the screen and your reality show from this world,concluding the experiments and cleaning the cages.

hyper realistic textual diarrhoea

It was a nice bright sunny day and I just got my weekly allowance and I really wanted to buy a game. My father fucked me in the ass, but it was a bright sunny day so I didn't care that much. I was at a garage sale with my mom, and I bought a copy of Donkey Kong 64. "Wow!" I said, "I can not wait to play this one!"

My mom handed me the cartridge. I noticed it was missing something. It no longer had a label, but it did have something written on it: "Donkey Kong 64: The Unsold Copy" I turned the cartridge over, and to my surprise, the real Shigeru Miyamoto had signed it. I was so excited to have that signature, I got on my two-wheeler and rode really fast back home. I didn't even bother to drive it into the garage, I just jumped off my bike and threw my bike into the lawn like they do in those shows. I ran into the house, and I popped that sucker into that Nintendo 64, put on that play button, and got ready for a special treat.

This was when I first noticed something was wrong. When I put in the cartridge, I felt it lock in. I had never noticed other games do that before. I tried taking it out, but it wouldn't come out at first. So I just figured maybe there was a little piece of plastic sticking out. I just let it slide. I turned on the game, and there it is! The old logo I used to remember, a year ago when I was one!

The DK Rap started playing, but something was off about it. The lyrics were all jumbled, and their eyes were glitching up. But I just shrugged it off and pressed start, ready to relive some of my childhood memories. I looked past the DK Rap. I said "time to play my favorite game!" I started a new file up, and usually when Donkey Kong sees a banana he says "OH. BA-NA-NA." but he did not this time. He said, "EUGCHHHH! BANANA!" It sounded like a little boy screaming, I couldn't quite make it out. That's when I turned around and saw my mom in red face paint.

Knocking my mother off (she was being a goof as usual), I started it up. It was just like I remember it, the pan-in with the bird and everything, you guys know the rest. Cranky Kong told me I had to go get the three barrels so I could learn the basics: climbing, breaking barrels, and jumping. But something strange happened. After Cranky told me my mission, the barrels were nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere but I couldn't find the barrels. Confused, I entered the Banana Horde, hoping to find something to do.

After entering the Banana Horde, I noticed the screen was a lot darker than usual. I tried to adjust the tv brightness but for some reason, it stayed as dark as it was. Then I got the idea that I would get on Skype and contact my friends and ask them if they knew anything about this banana sound Donkey Kong made, as well as the glitch eyes and jumbled lyrics of the rap, my mom in red face behind me, and the missing barrels that Cranky spoke of. As I stood there on Skype, after pressing enter, I waited. Ten seconds later, I saw that my friend was beginning to type as the three little dots began to bounce. But then they stopped. Whatever he was going to write, he never sent me. So I went back to the game but now I realize something was very wrong. The screen had gotten darker, even more so than before. This is when things really started to shake me up. I looked in the corner of the screen and I noticed something was happening so I made Donkey Kong walk over there.

To my utter and complete shock, a 3D model of King K. Rool started rising out of the terrain, but he had no textures. He was purple. He faced my character and had no animations, he was T-Posing. He slowly moved towards Donkey Kong and I made Donkey Kong run the other direction as fast as I could. I watched in terror as my favorite monkey hero got torn to shreds, screaming in agony. I couldn't help but cry a little as I saw Donkey Kong's ribcage burst open by King K. Rool's claws. When I saw it, I screamed. I turned the game off. I started back. I reset the game and tried to pull the game out, but I couldn't. I decided to give it another go.

All that appeared on the screen was a photorealistic dead monkey, with flies buzzing around it and a tie poorly photoshopped on his body. It looked like someone had really killed a monkey and put a tie on it. I didn't know what to do. I grasped at my heart. It started to beat faster and faster. Suddenly the picture zoomed out, and I was greeted to the Nintendo opening from the GameCube game "Luigi's Mansion", you know the one. The zoom-out suddenly showed that the Banana Horde was not as I remembered it. The bananas were rotten, dripping with ooze of some kind. And the face? Well, that was actually a face that was stabbed by a stake with all the other Kong heads on it. You know, Stinky Kong, Candy Kong, Lanky... Lanky was crucified like Jesus. Crispy Kong, Cookie Kong... they were all dead, ripped apart. And the purple King K. Rool, hording over his horde of bananas, made a loud static noise.

This was when my Skype finally messaged me back. I ran over to my computer and there was my friend being held by the hair by King K. Rool himself. Only my friend didn't have his usual body beneath his head, he was decapitated! And the picture was followed by text that said "this is real." THIS IS REAL.

Finally, my tv flickered. Text appeared.

"This is only a demo, but thank you for playing my game. Please buy it when it come out.

-Shigeru Miyamoto"

>>4
take all my upvotes

>>4
What the fuck.

Sasquatch penis