Why do I have these incredibly happy dreams now that my life is gradually going to shit? It's like I am mocking myself for the situation I am in. The more depressed I am the happier dreams I get, like the kind of dreams that take me to a happy place filled with happy memories and lots of cool things happening.
My latest two dreams involved me running around a slightly futuristic town near a big forest in the middle of the summer and I just ran around in the sun in my shorts being happy and I could float on the wind and it was nice and warm and people were friendly around me. Then I dreamt I went to Russia with my family to see some museums and shit and I got to see all the cool military vehicles they used during WW2 being used like the flying tank and the prototype propeller aircrafts and I got so carried away I fell into the duck pond and had to swim out. Then we got back to the hotel and I got my own room because the people worked there liked me so much, which meant I didn't have to listen to my parents' snoring.
Meanwhile back IRL I am sitting in the same room every fucking day doing the same projects and jobs to try to reach the same fucking deadlines for almost no pay or only a promise of payment that I have been doing for years already. There's nowhere I can go since I have no money, and nobody cares about me anymore so there is no one I can go to.
My latest two dreams involved me running around a slightly futuristic town near a big forest in the middle of the summer and I just ran around in the sun in my shorts being happy and I could float on the wind and it was nice and warm and people were friendly around me. Then I dreamt I went to Russia with my family to see some museums and shit and I got to see all the cool military vehicles they used during WW2 being used like the flying tank and the prototype propeller aircrafts and I got so carried away I fell into the duck pond and had to swim out. Then we got back to the hotel and I got my own room because the people worked there liked me so much, which meant I didn't have to listen to my parents' snoring.
Meanwhile back IRL I am sitting in the same room every fucking day doing the same projects and jobs to try to reach the same fucking deadlines for almost no pay or only a promise of payment that I have been doing for years already. There's nowhere I can go since I have no money, and nobody cares about me anymore so there is no one I can go to.