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Smash

1 Name: VIPPER 2019-06-28 20:19
I always vote to turn on items. Unless, of course, I'm at a party with a large group of people. In that case it's not so simple. I'm a gentlemen, so I never just go ahead and vote for rulesets first. I'll hold off for somebody else to start, and then I'll wait until it's my turn to order. Chances are, somebody else is going to request to turn on items. I'm telling you, it's the best way to play. But then Mom will come around to our console and ask me, “And for you sir? How would you like to play Smash this round?” I can't say I want to play with items now. I'll look like I have no idea what I'm doing. I'll look like I've never played Smash before, and now I'm just copying everybody else.

This is why it's great to vote first on rulesets in 8 player Smash. Everyone else is definitely going to want to play with items. So when you vote first, you look like you're in charge, like everyone else is following your lead. Then the second person also says they want items. “Very good, sir.” And maybe he really did want items on. It all depends on how fast he said it. If there was even a second's hesitation, it would be perfectly obvious that he was probably going to go no items, but he didn't feel like being outdone by the first person. “I want to play with items… on. Items on.” A classic rookie I've-never-played-video-games-at-a-party-with-a-large-group-of-people mistake.

And then it goes down the line, items on, items on, items on. But now everybody voting, the fifth, sixth, seventh, even if they wanted only some items, or no items at all, it's just not happening. Nobody's going to stick their neck out like that. By the third or fourth person, Mom is only even asking because he has to, because it's part of her job description. Father always gets really pissed when Mom tries to save some time, trying to cast out a blanket, “Items all around?” question to the group.

Every once in a while Mom will start off with a person who clearly doesn't know how to play Smash and they'll say "coin match" or "pokeballs only on high". And the next person will vote, extra loud, "all items, stock match", as if to say, please don't confuse me with my idiot friend to my left, I'd like to play with all items on. Please. And it'll go down the line, items on, items on, and after two or three people, that first guy will realize his mistake, and he'll get really embarrassed, and he'll just shout out to Mom, who's already passed him, and he'll say, “Excuse me, you know what? I'm going to vote for all items also, thanks.” And Mom will say, “Very good, sir,” and she'll pretend to cross out something on her notepad and write in something else, but it will all be an act, because she's not changing any votes at all. It's always all items. The first person always changes to all items on after everyone else votes items on. It's a science.

But then it gets to me, maybe I'm like the seventh or eighth person to vote. And I'm no follower, I'm no nameless face in a crowd. So I'll say “Stamina mode, please.” And everyone drops their controllers and stares. I learned this trick at my friend's birthday party in Iowa last summer. The rehearsal party was at his mansion, and the couch was extremely comfy. Of course I was going to vote for regular Smash with items on, but the first person voted for Stamina mode. I was like, what? Stamina? Crazy. But then the second person voted, Stamina. Third, fourth, fifth. Stamina, Stamina, Stamina. There was definitely a pattern here and it became clear to me how I'd have to vote for my ruleset.

I really hope that someday I'm out playing Smash with a bunch of guys and for some reason it's my turn to vote first. And I'm definitely going vote to play Stamina mode. And I know that that second person is just going to have to vote for Stamina also. And it'll be like dominoes, everyone falling in line, everyone voting only for Stamina mode. I'm pretty sure that's what happened in Iowa. I think.
2 Name: VIPPER 2019-06-30 09:44
ok
3 Name: VIPPER 2019-07-02 16:18
I like to play with explosive items on custom stages.

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